Well Foot-o-files, it has been a little while since I last wrote about a BlackFoot tailgate and it is time once again to put my best foot forward. I am, painfully now thanks to the boys, aware that I missed one tailgate a while back. Bit of a shame too, it was a good one. Allow me to sum it up quickly with the two main highlights:
1. Chef Hammer couldn't wait to start cooking so he started a 1 alarm fire on his coffee table while the BlackFooters watched the Caps in the playoffs. It was the crucial last 5 minutes of the game so the fire (started by a dangerous combination of candles, newspaper and a complete lack of any kind of responsibility) may have gone unnoticed if the Colonel hadn't looked down to check his phone. He quickly alerted the rest of the room with what some might consider to be a rather womanish scream of "Fire, Fire, Fire!". Well, 1 alarm fire aside, there is no reason for you to be alarmed as everyone came out of the fire unharmed, unless you count the massive blow to the whole fire prevention movement. Hulk hate Smokey the Bear!
2.Well, I am sure that there was another highlight but due to alcohol consumption and smoke inhalation (not just from the fire, eh boys?) I'll be damned if I can remember it.
Right, now that we have that out of the way lets move on to DC's Open Cup game last Wednesday against the NY/NJ. Most of the boys were able to get off of work early (shocker) so the Foot wasted no time hitting the spot. Well, the Foot didn't but DC's finest, and I don't mean Jaime Moreno, did. After the Colonel's pre game tradition of honking at the traffic blocking his direct route into the lot we were greeted by a cop who informed us that we were not able to park in that lot unless we had a pass. Clearly she was not a detective as the usual gatekeepers were set up not fifteen feet away with orange vests and signs and, lo and behold, parking permits for sale. This was calmly explained to the officer by the Colonel and the Chef. Just kidding, the Colonel growled and the Chef hulked out. Honestly, the list of things that makes the Chef lose his cool is growing quickly, you can now add cops to children and improperly placed couches. Before the kettle came to a boil we were waved on and allowed to pay our $15 and park. A quick side note: I recently went to an Orioles game and was asked to pay $8 dollars to park. And United charges $15. Seriously? How do we not have a stadium built yet?
Enter the tailgate. Coolers were opened, chairs were set out, corn hole boards were placed. The partying had officially begun. The usual beer games and beers were played and drank and fresh face Mr. West documented a lot of the tailgate. The BlackFooters, at least this one, found out that he is soon to be a father. Congratulations West from the BlackFoot clan! Everything was good at this tailgate, from the weather to the company. In fine BlackFoot tradition everyone got f'd up. It was great.
Line of the Day: this is where this article goes interactive. I know something funny was said at the game that deserves the Line of the Day title but I cannot remember what it was. Being the brilliant planner that I am I had a contingency for this situation as I asked everyone around to be sure to remember since I knew I wouldn't. Come on comments section, let's see what you've got.
Greetings from the grill: The Chef received rave reviews for both his chicken burgers and his salsa that went along with it. Yours truly didn't actually have any, but everyone who did seemed to enjoy it and didn't get sick. So well done Chef. You have proven that you are not scared of chicken and know how to use fresh veggies for something other than presentation.
Well, before we knew it it was time to head into the game. Some of the crew were left behind to squeeze out every second of the tailgate. Also, the Doctor of Dank had a busted wheel and was hoping to get a ride to the stadium, a true death march of 50 yards away. It is almost as if he times these foot fuck-ups so that he has a perpetual limp. These timely toe-breaks are more chronic than his diabetes. He is going to start up his own fan club called FC BrokenFoot. Well, he got his ride but the rest of the boys were left to fend for themselves and (don't read this part Doctor) walk to the stadium.
The game was great and we enjoyed watching United beat up on our neighbors to the north. Chef enjoyed sticking it to the NY fans as he walked over to just below their sad section and repeatedly thrust the DC badge in their general direction. Hulk taunt! There was some talk of recruitment as we eyed up the future Foot-o-philes in our section. And best of all, our man on the inside came through with the fantasy seats. For those that don't know these seats are close enough to the field that if any of us were in decent shape we might be mistaken for players. That and the free beer had our group sitting sidelines in no time. Sadly, that is almost how long we were there. With a whopping 4-1 lead at halftime the BlackFoot clan decided to head back out the lot and re-start the tailgate. This can be looked at in one of two ways: if you are cool about it you would say that it shows our dedication to our chosen art form of tailgating, or you might say we are lousy DCU fans if you are a dick. Everybody has got their opinion and I don't care about yours. Any way you slice it we had a blast and DCU crushed their cup competition. The party eventually headed back to the soon to be deceased BlackFoot headquarters and then a poker game broke out.
As usual I have no idea when the next home game is but, I can't wait to tailgate!
Well, its been announced, Real Madrid will be coming to play DCU on August 9 at FedEx Field....
