Be all DCU can Be

Hello to all you United-philes! Well, the home opener is rapidly approaching so I thought it would be a fine time to intrduce myself. So far you have, I hesitate to use the word enjoyed but oh well, the fine articles and commentary put out by the Colonel and the Kernel. Now meet the Colon-Al. It will be my job to recap and comment on the goings ons, tailgates and good times of the Blackfoot faithful. If you are reading this; that means you. Think of me as an intelligent, less gay Prez Hilton. Watch what you say and do, or don't, and make my job easier. Check my columns for recaps of funny events, food critique and decisions in the Saunders v. Saunders throwdowns that go with tailgating like tea and toast. Fear not, my column will not at all be vicious but rather entertaining, and vicious. Put it this way, this is where you come when you are done with sentance fragments and improper punctuation. Just check it out and you will DC what I mean. The column shall be called: The Foot Print.

As for the home opener itself, it is the opinion of this Blackfooter that we looked good in our opening game against L-Gay and will carry on that form against Shit-cago. I expect Blanco to play with enthusiasm and a complete lack of respect for and awareness of his arms. He will most likely be red carded inthe second half for beating his wife. The potent United offense will open up the Chicago defense like a DC-section. Prediction: we will be celebrating an United Victory. The question is: will you celebrate in a way that will end you up in this very column? We shal DC . . . .

Colon-Al (give the name a chance, it will grow on you)